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2019年08月22日 01:03:03 | 作者:中医门户 | 来源:新华社
You know when your relationship is not working out. But how do you tell your partner they are dumped? A new poll reveals just how women and men call time on a love affair。当你们的恋爱关系走不下去的时候你通常会察觉,但你如何告诉你的另一半他/她被甩了呢?最近有一项调查揭示了男女到底是如何结束恋爱关系的。Dating site SeekingArrangement.com asked 1,000 of its male and female members why and how they would dump a partner. And the results reveal big differences in the sexes over how to give a loved one the push – and the reasons they give for the split。婚恋网站seekingarrangement 调查了1000名男性和女性,问他们为什么会如何与伴侣分手。调查结果显示,在向恋爱对象提出分手的方式和理由上,男人和女人的表现大不相同。Women are far more concerned about letting a man down gently – trying to soften the blow with emotional reasons for the split。女人更倾向于婉转地拒绝男人,使用一些感性的分手理由来降低对男人的打击。Going against the stereotype of the commitment-phobe male, the most popular line used by women in ending a relationship is: #39;I’m not y for commitment yet.#39; The second most popular is: #39;This is going too fast for me.#39;传统观点可能认为男人提分手最典型的情况是害怕承诺,但其实“我还有准备好给你承诺” 是女人在分手时最爱说的理由。女人最爱用的第二个的理由:“这对我来说太快了”。Interestingly, money – and the earning power of their partner – is far more important to a woman than a man. #39;You don’t earn enough money#39; is the third most important reason on the women’s list, whereas it doesn’t feature at all on the men’s list。有趣的是,女人远远比男人更看重金钱,所以伴侣的赚钱能力很重要。“你赚钱太少了”成为女人分手的第三大理由,然而在男人的分手理由列表上,这点根本不重要。#39;It#39;s not you, it#39;s me#39;: Men tend to be less concerned with giving emotional explanations when they dumped their partner- and are more likely to use technology to let them know。“你没有错,是我自己的问题”:而男人在甩掉自己的女友时不太会使用感性的理由,而是更可能用技术性的客观理由让女友知道。For men, poor sex and lack physical compatibility appears far more important than women for why a relationship has failed。对于男人来讲,性生活不和谐不够契合是导致两人分手的重要原因,他们比女人更看重这方面。The third most popular reason for men is they are no longer attracted to their partner and the fourth most popular reason is: #39;We’ve lost that sexual spark.#39;男人的第三大分手理由是他们的伴侣无法再吸引他们,紧接下来的第四大理由为“我们已经失去的火花了”。Both sexes prefer to end a relationship face-to-face but they are also increasingly using email and text to tell a lover they are history。大多数的男人和女人更愿意和伴侣面谈分手结束关系,但目前用邮件或短讯的分手形式也在逐渐增加。Just over half of women (52 per cent) would meet a partner to say the relationship is over, while fewer than half of men (43 per cent) would break the news in person。超过一半(52%)的女性会向通过一个对象侧面来告知分手,而余下的43%女性则会亲自将消息告诉他人。Harley Street dating and relationship expert Louise Van Der Velde had this advice: #39;Relationships work when one whole person attracts another whole person。哈利街的婚姻关系专家路易斯凡德尔维尔德提出一则建议:“当一个人的全部特征完全彻底地吸引另外一个人,两人之间才会迸发爱情”。#39;If you’re giving 50 per cent, and the other is giving 50 per cent, it’s not going to work. Both of you need to commit to giving the relationship no less than 100 per cent. And I think it’s so healthy for people to be honest about their expectations in a relationship。“如果你只给予对方50%,而对方同样如此,那你们的爱情就不可能持久。你们双方都需要给予这份感情百分之百的努力。而且我认为,人们需要诚实地对待自己的感情期望,这样才是健康状态。”SeekingArrangement owner Brandon Wade said increasing numbers of online daters jump quickly from one relationship to the next。Seekingarrangement网站的所有人布兰登-韦德指出,现在越来越多的在线约会者会从一个关系中迅速跳到另外一个。He said: #39;They meet someone they like, have some fun and then quickly moved on. If you are going to be a success dating online you have to learn how to end a relationship without causing too much fuss. The other message to come from this survey is that women like men with money. It has always been so。他还说:“他们遇到自己喜欢的人,一起找点乐子然后迅速离开。如果你打算成为一个成功的网络恋爱高手,你必须学会如何结束一段感情同时不会引起太多麻烦。另外这项调查给到我们的一个信息是:女人喜欢有钱男人。亘古不变。”The top 10 reasons women give for ending it女人最爱用的10大分手理由:1. I am not y for commitment yet。我还没有准备好给你承诺。2. This is going too fast for me。这一切对我来讲太快了!3. You don’t earn enough money。你赚太少了。4. You are not mature enough。你还不成熟。5. I need to concentrate on my career我想把精力投入到事业上。6. I don’t like your friends or family。我不喜欢你的朋友或家人。7. It’s just not working。就是没感觉。8. We are not going to get married, so what’s the point?将来我们不会结婚的,那现在这样还有意义吗?9. We have not got enough in common。我需要志同道合的伴侣。10. I don’t trust you。我对你缺少信任。The top ten reasons men give for ending it男人最爱用的10大分手理由:1. It’s just not working。就是没感觉。2. I’ve met someone else。我已经有其他女人了。3. I’m not attracted to you any more。你不再吸引我了。4. We’ve lost that sexual spark。我俩之间没有了的火花。5. It’s not you, it’s me。不是你的错,是我的问题。6. I need to concentrate on my career。我需要集中精力在事业上。7. We want different things。我们追求的东西不一样。8. I don’t want to see you any more。我不想再看见你了。9. I am not y for commitment yet。我还没有准备好给你承诺。10. We have not got enough in common。10.我需要一个志同道合的伴侣。 /201508/392611Lemon and polenta cake柠檬粟米蛋糕6oz/175g unsalted butter, softened175克无盐黄油,室温下放软8oz/225g caster sugar225克糖霜7oz/200g ground almonds200克杏仁粉3 large eggs三枚大鸡蛋Zest of 4 whole lemons and juice of 14个柠檬的皮,切碎;一个柠檬的汁4oz/115g polenta115克粟米粉/玉米粉1 tsp baking powder一茶匙泡打粉(发酵用)Pinch of salt一小辍盐* Preheat the oven to 325F/160C/gas mark 3. Line an 8; (20cm) tin with baking parchment.预热烤箱至160摄氏度,将烤箱纸铺在一个8寸的蛋糕模具上。* Put all the ingredients in a food processor and whizz to a smooth batter.将所有材料混合搅匀。* Spoon into the lined tin and bake for 45-50 minutes, until a skewer pushed into the centre comes out with no uncooked batter on it. Cool in the tin.将混合物倒入模具,烘烤45-50分钟。最后可以用叉子伸入蛋糕中间试探,如果没有湿湿的、没烤熟的部分,就好了。然后等它在模具中冷却,就可以开动啦! /201211/211628Contented Married Life令人满意的婚姻生活A man was telling one of his friends the secret of his contented married life, ;My wife makes all the small decisions,; he explained, ;and I make all the big ones, so we never interfere in each other#39;s business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments.;一个男人告诉他的朋友自己婚姻幸福美满的秘密,“小事都由我妻子决定,”他解释说:“而我只管大事,我们从不互相干涉,从不生对方的气。我们从来没有抱怨、没有争吵。”;That sounds reasonable,; answered his friend sympathetically. ;And what sort of decisions does your wife make?;“听起来很有道理,”他的朋友深有同感,“有哪些事情由你妻子作决定呢?”;Well,; answered the man, ;she decides what jobs I apply for, what sort of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays, and things like that.;“嗯,”那个人回答说:“她决定我申请什么工作,我们住什么房子,买什么家具,去哪里度假这些事情。”His friend was surprised. ;Oh?; he said. ;And what do you consider important decisions then?;他的朋友很惊奇的问道:“哦?那么你决定哪些重要事情?”;Well,; answered the man, ;I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb, and things like that.;“嗯,”他回答:“我决定谁来当首相,我们是否要增加对贫困国家的援助,怎么处理原子弹等等这些问题。” /201301/2230571. Keep the focus on fun, not food关注节日乐趣,而不是美食Most holidays are associated with certain foods. Christmas at your house might not be the same without your aunt#39;s green bean casserole, but that doesn#39;t mean food has to be the main focus. Instead, throw yourself into the other rituals a holiday brings, whether it#39;s caroling or tree trimming.大部分的节日都和某些美食联系在一起。如果少了阿姨做的砂锅青豆,你的圣诞节也许会有些不同。但这并不意味着美食必须是主要的关注点。相反,你应该投入到节日的其他仪式中去,不管是唱圣诞颂歌还是装饰圣诞树。 /201201/168553

Being engaged is all about going to cake tastings, being forced to have an opinion on centerpieces, and answering “how did you propose” about one billion times. Women expect to hear something romantic, like you swooped down on a flying unicorn and popped the question as you flew past the sunset. No one wants to hear that you asked her during halftime to order some more wings and/or marry you. Avoid looking like a completely douchebag by not proposing in any of the following ways. 订婚了就要到处张罗:品尝蛋糕,发表订婚感言,还得不厌其烦地无数次回答:“你是怎么求婚的?” 这个问题。女人喜欢听到很浪漫的求婚戏码,比方说你在夕阳的背景下骑着飞行的独角兽,突然冲到她面前向她求婚。没人会喜欢你在去订鸡翅的半路上问她要不要嫁给你。不想做个讨厌鬼,就别像下面这几种方式求婚:7. The Post-Pregnancy Proposal奉子求婚 Since it's not the 1950′s anymore and out-of-wedlock mothers aren't required to wear the scarlet letter, there's no reason to pop the question just because she's pregnant. Getting married won’t change the fact that a baby is coming and all your beer money is now going to be going into the diaper fund. Do the gentleman-like thing, ask for the kid to be named after you, write her a check for 18 years of child support, and get a vasectomy. 现在已经不是20世纪50年代了,未婚先的妈妈也不会被钉上耻辱柱受世俗的指责,所以不用在她怀的时候突然求婚。结婚不会改变孩子马上要出生而你的零花钱得全部用作奶粉钱的事实。有点绅士风度,真诚地请求让这个孩子跟你姓,给她写张票付孩子未来18年的抚养费,然后去做结扎绝育手术。6. The During Her Marriage Proposal抢婚式求婚 Despite what Hollywood may tell you, brides do not want you barging into their wedding, stopping the vows, and proclaiming your love for them. And I’ll tell you what, there are extremely high odds that she will say no. So have some class and save the big, romantic movie gestures for moments when they're needed — such as when you ask your girlfriend to choose you over her wildly successful job. 别管好莱坞电影是怎么演的,任何新娘都不会想让你闯入她的婚礼现场,阻止宣誓仪式,向她和她的新郎宣告你对她的爱。 跟你说实话吧,她十有八九会拒绝你。所以拜托你长点脑子,那些宏大浪漫的电影桥段留到需要的时候吧:比方说你要求女朋友在你和她的成功事业间做选择的时候。5. The Edible-Ring Proposal藏在蛋糕里的戒指 It sounds romantically-cliche to propose via an engagement ring hidden at the bottom of chocolate mousse. In reality, it's a subconscious death wish for your significant other. After all, if you were caught placing choke-able objects in someone's food in any other situation, you would be arrested for attempted murder. 把订婚戒指藏在巧克力蛋糕里求婚,听起来似乎是很浪漫,但其实已经老掉牙了。实际上,这种求婚方式可能给你的另一半带来潜在的死亡危险。毕竟在任何情形下你把可能会噎死人的东西放在别人的食物里,你都可能因为意图谋杀罪被捕。4. The Funeral Proposal葬礼上的求婚 Going to a funeral naturally makes you freak out about your future. You're wondering if you've done anything worthwhile with your life besides that 9 minute keg stand junior year of college. But your mid-life crisis is no reason to reach out to last week's one-night stand and ask them to marry you. Instead of putting yourself on the fast track for a divorce, ask out the hottest girl at the funeral, and pray like hell you're not related. 参加葬礼一般都会让你对未来感到崩溃。你会反思人生,觉得自己除了在大三的时候玩游戏外,人生再也没啥有价值的事情了。不过中年危机并不能成为你的借口,让你向上周跟你一夜情的姑娘伸出魔掌让她们嫁给你。别自己搭上闪电离婚的快车,不如邀请葬礼上身材最火辣的姑娘跟你约会吧,而且最好祈祷你们没啥关系。3. The Public Proposal当众求婚 Deciding to get married is kind of a big deal. It's up there with deciding what you should do for a living and what secret file name you should hide your porn under. So why put your girlfriend on the spot by popping the question in front of family and friends? Odds are she won't want to say "let's talk about this later" in front of everyone. Instead you’ll get an awkward silence while she contemplates the question followed by a half-assed yes. 决定要结婚是件大事,和考虑要靠什么谋生还有该把藏在哪个秘密文件下一样重要。所以在大庭广众亲朋好友面前突然当场求婚?有可能她不会当着大家的面说“我们晚点再说吧”,但是她在思考这个问题的时候,你得经历一段尴尬的沉默,而她的回答也多半会是不情不愿的“好吧”。2. The Social Media Proposal社交媒体求婚 Just because everyone communicates in 140 characters or less these days doesn't mean that you should propose via Facebook status. Nothing says I'm too lazy to get offline like an e-mail with the subject line "will you marry me." And please don't think adding in a clever kissy smiley face will help matters at all. 虽然现在每个人都在用140字限制的社交网络来相互联系,但这并不意味着你就应该通过facebook求婚。懒到发一份主题为“你愿意嫁给我吗”的求婚邮件就匆匆下线,你别以为加个可爱的亲吻笑脸就能一切搞定了。1. The Valentine's Day Proposal情人节求婚 Isn't there enough going on with women carrying around carnations and adult men dressed as giant baby cupids? There's no need to add to the corniness of the holiday by throwing in a wedding proposal. The only exception to this cliche proposal is if you forget to get a gift and need to think of something in a hurry. 拜托,情人节的大街上抱着康乃馨的女人和穿成巨婴丘比特的成年男人还少吗?没必要再老土到在这天提出求婚。不过这种老土的求婚戏码也可以有例外:要是你忘了买情人节礼物得马上想出点什么惊喜的话。 /201111/160450

Ever wonder why, no matter how hard you try, you can’t be one of those exercisers who jog 5km every dawn.有没有想过为何不管怎么努力,你都无法像那些锻炼者一样每天晨跑五千米。Stop blaming yourself. It’s not because you lack discipline, it’s because your body isn’t programmed to work out at that hour.不要怪自己,这并不是因为你缺乏自律,而是因为你的身体在那个时间并未将训练这一项纳入“程序”。According to a recent report by The Wall Street Journal website, a growing number of research suggests that we should pay more attention to our body clock when we make daily plans.《华尔街日报》网站上的一篇最新报道称,有越来越多的研究表明,当制定日常计划时,我们应该更加关注自身的生物钟。Our body clock, or natural body rhythm, influences our energy and alertness. Paying attention to it can help us pinpoint the different times of day when we best perform specific tasks – from thinking creatively to exercising.我们的生物钟,或者说是生理节奏,会影响我们的精力和灵敏度。关注生物钟能帮助我们精确地找到一天中的哪个时段,做哪项工作效率最高,无论是创新思考还是锻炼身体。The reality, however, is that most of us organize their time around work demands, school deadlines, commuting or social events. Doing whatever your body feels like doing is a luxury in today’s fast-paced modern society.而事实上,我们中大多数人都在根据工作需要、课程期限、通勤或是社交活动来安排时间表。在当今快节奏的登社会中,做身体想做的事情十分奢侈。But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying. Obeying our body clock has significant health benefits. Disrupting our natural body rhythm, on the other hand, has been linked to problems such as depression and obesity, says Steve Key, a biology professor at the University of Southern California.但这并不代表该做法不值得一试。遵循生物钟对身体健康十分有益。来自南加州大学的生物学教授史蒂夫#8226; 凯表示,反过来,一旦打破我们的生理节奏,将会导致忧郁、肥胖等问题的产生When the body clock can synchronize the rhythms of its natural processes in response to light and other natural influences, it “gives us an edge in daily life”, says Kay.史蒂夫#8226;凯说:当生物钟在光线以及其他自然因素影响下,与生理节奏同步时,它便会为我们的日常生活增添砝码。According to him, when it comes to cognitive work, most adults perform best in the late morning. As our body temperature starts to rise just before awakening in the morning and continues to increase until midday, our memory, alertness and concentration gradually improve.史蒂夫表示,就认知型工作而言,大多数成年人在临近中午时工作状态最佳。由于我们的体温刚好在清晨起床前开始上升,并且持续增长直到中午,我们的、灵敏度和集中力也在逐步提升。However, our ability to concentrate typically starts to diminish soon thereafter. Most of us are more easily distracted between noon and 4 pm.而之后不久,我们的注意力通常会开始下降。我中的大多数人从中午到下午四点这个时间段里都很难集中精力。Alertness also tends to fall after eating a meal and sleepiness tends to peak around 2 pm, making that a good time for a nap.在用餐过后,灵敏度也开始下降;下午两点左右达到瞌睡高峰,因此这是小睡的绝佳时机。Surprisingly, tiredness may boost our creative powers. For most adults, problems that require open-ended thinking are often best tackled in the evening when they are tired, according to a study in the journal Thinking amp; Reasoning.令人意外的是,疲劳能够增加我们的创造力。一项刊登在《思考和推理》杂志上的研究表明,对于大多数成年人而言,那些需要用开放性的思维来思考的问题,最佳处理时间往往是在晚上他们感觉疲劳的时候。This is because tiredness allows the mind to wander more freely to explore alternative solutions.这是因为疲劳能让思维得到更自由的发散,去寻求不同的解决方案。When choosing a time of day to exercise, paying attention to your body clock can improve results. Physical performance is usually best, and the risk of injury least, from about 3 to 6 pm, says Michael Smolensky, a professor of biomedical engineering at the University of Texas.在选择每日锻炼时间的时候,关注生物钟能提升锻炼成果。德克萨斯大学生物医学工程教授迈克尔#8226;斯莫伦斯基表示:下午三点到六点这个时段中,身体状态通常最佳,受伤风险也最低。Muscle strength tends to peak between 2 and 6 pm. And joints and muscles are as much as 20 percent more flexible in the evening, lowering the risk of injury, according to Smolensky.斯莫伦斯基表示,肌肉力量一般在下午两点到六点之间达到顶峰。关节和肌肉在晚间的灵活性比其他时间高20%,受伤几率会小一些。Another boost for physical strength comes from the lungs, which function 17.6 percent more efficiently at 5 pm than at midday.另一个增强体魄的因素来自肺部。下午五点时肺部的效率要比午间高17.6%。Of course, not everyone’s body clock is the same, making it even harder to synchronize natural rhythms with daily plans. But research shows that if people don’t follow a typical body clock, they operate on either of two distinctive patterns: Morning people tend to wake up and go to sleep earlier and to be most productive early in the day. Evening people tend to wake up later, start more slowly and peak in the evening.当然,每个人的生物钟都不尽相同,这使得日常计划与生理节奏同步变得难上加难。而研究表明如果一个人不遵循典型的生物钟,那么他/她便会选择两种独特时间类型中的一种来行事:早上型人群往往比一般人要早睡早起,白天的工作效率最高;晚上型人群会起的较晚,进入状态较慢,最高效的时间是在晚上。 /201210/206714

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